Friday, January 25, 2002

Been a long time...

Life goes on, the universe ticks away the hours... still I don´t have much to say, really. Those small moments of insight pass unnoticed many times, caught up as we are in the turmoil of everyday living.

Yet change is inevitable. It´s subtle and unstoppable if you are one of those who cannot stop yourself from searching, looking, listening, scratching, rooting around in the woods of your mind, turning every stone, dirtying your hands in the process - and maybe as a reward one day, that you catch one of these rare glimpses of insight. You hold it then, for some treasured moments, as a shivering butterfly it rests on your spread out palms... ere it takes flight and disappears swiftly.

But take heart. It will shed its wings and come to rest. And the wings will add to the layers in your mind and become to fertile soil for your soul.

Thursday, May 31, 2001

A certain peace of mind

A certain peace of mind has surrounded me this last half year. Boken only temporarily by the streams and winds of the universe around me. The currents that float past my center of existence. Quickly the waters/winds of existence close their surface again, and I am carried on in the knowledge that many things are not more than repetitions of earlier turmoils, my own or others'.

In ritual and purification, or from just a moment of meditation, the turmoils seem like shedded skins of reptiles. Emptied, harmless, their content now bound for a new form of existence, perhaps raw and fragile in the start, but growing, gaining something for each round.

My silence is enough. I need not be heard myself, there are too many voices with too much to speak.

Which are 'True of Voice'?

Friday, March 16, 2001

Thoughts after reading Daily Devotions by Her Holiness Nisut Hekatawy I, March, 13th, 2001:


"In darkness, the word is spoken. Light, accompanying sound, brings Netjer forth: the gods and goddesses responding to Their beloved sons and daughters, carried on the breath of the Akhu, to the table of faith we call altar, there to meet face-to-face, heart-to-heart, Parent to Child."

"...sharing of breath, of life, of our very essence with our Creator."

Heart-to-heart, sharing Breath with our Parent...

Suddenly it was brought home to me with clarity how very intimate this relationship with the Divine is/can be. How very close. How Life-giving.

We cannot exist without it. We do not exist without it. Even if we are not aware of it, if we do not seek it, if we do not believe in it, it is there.

It is just as intimate and interdependent as our earthly parents when they give birth to us. The love we have for our children! How they are the Most Precious part of our existence!

Likewize are we Loved by Netjer.

"May You love me as I love You".
Ma´at - an eternal struggle

This hard to translate word Ma´at, has to do with order, balance, justice, proper conduct. It is the concept which upholds and maintains the Cosmic Order and therefore makes Existence possible.

On a personal inner level too it can be about keeping the balance between chaos and order. Everyday I fight against Apep, every day sofar I have beaten him. Some days he is not so near, at other times he seems overwhelming. The fight is won by short margins at times, and easily at others. It varies. But the fight goes on.

I read something in Asante - Ancient African Voices, which is really giving a much too africanized viewpoint on it all, but there was this that caught my attention. Asante means there are ten virtues which are to accompany any representation of Ma´at in speech or behaviour. I have to muse over them, but at first they struck me as quite sensible. I´m citing directly out of the book:

"1. Criticality: the ability to distinguish good from evil and right from wrong...

2. Devotion: Consecrating oneself by vow to Ma´at. ... devotion itself would only be revealed in the actual way a person responded to deep meditation... 'You cannot show devotion; it must arise in your own heart and even if others will not see it, you will know it'.

3. Control: Regulate, check and exercise power over the mind. Humans are born into order but remain oblivious to this order as chaos seem to penetrate our lives.

4. Discipline. Training that develops self control, orderly behaviour.

5. Tolerance: Allowing and permitting others to express their views.

6. Forbearance: Possessing freedom from resentment.

7. Steadfastness: Holding firm to one´s beliefs and ideas.

8. Faith: An expression of optimism.

9. Spiritual Desire: Showing the will to achieve victory over present circumstances.

10. Initiation: Achieving mastery over self.

Short commentaries sofar:

Criticality, the ability to distinguish good from wrong must depend on which context you are in. What is wrong in one culture is right in another. But I would like to think that there are basic wrongs and rights which undercut most civilisations. These have to be made clear and observed.

Discipline, this could be read as having no chance of expressing oneself. That word 'discipline' makes me think of hard regimen, of tough attitudes and a very low tolerance level together with being frowned at for one´s choices and lifestyle. It makes me think of closed in spaces and no freedom, only conformism. But there is more, and other things to it than that. If the way is supposed to lead to maintenance of Creation, then there has to be some sort of discipline to meet up to what is required for this maintenance to happen. Orderly behaviour - to be gentle towards others, to keep silent in the presence of those who know more than you, to take care of family etc. That is also discipline. Likewize is keeping your temper, not spilling your emotions all over the place, keep to your routines, make your prayers... all in order to recreate the events of Zep Tepi.

Forbearance, this is a tricky point. It means a high level of tolerance, to be able to cope with wrongs that have been done to you. Some of us are controlled by Apep instead of the opposite. That´s when people go out killing each other. You have to practice the thought that whatever is done to you, the doer will deduct from his list of negative confession.

Steadfastness, yes, hold firm to one´s beliefs and ideas - but - not hesitate to revise them or change them as we learn better. If not, we´d get atrofied minds and souls very quickly. What is old and outgrown must be changed.

Mastery over self, that must mean being able to always have Ma´at before your eyes - and being able to always do Ma´at. I´m sure it´s a high level of existence and sofar I´ve never met any human being who can live up to it. Though it must be strived towards.

Friday, January 05, 2001

The Swedish monk Wilfried Stinnissen said:

"I probably dare say that you should never seek an 'experience' of God, for in doing that we circulate inside of ourselves and our own emotions."

He meant that we don´t even have to seek God for we are "swimming in God!"

God is everywhere, within and without, and ever present. Why then do we have to seek Him?

There are people who get dazzled by different kinds of outer manifestations of religiosity. Maybe it´s a sign of the times we live in. We all need to find our own center and experience a closeness to God. But it´s easy to mistake an experience of exaggerated emotion or even elation for a true and deep connection with God. Those phases will wear off, they will not last.

A life with God, in God, will probably only be possible if we allow it to take time, and if we work at it dedicatedly with study, prayers and meditation as well as with profound and respectful discussions with those who have wandered on the path before us.

Monday, December 11, 2000

The Doors to the Horizon

To open the doors to the Horizon, that is what the ancients did every morning in every temple all over Kemet. It meant opening the doors to the naos - the shrine where the God was present. It meant placing oneself in the Presence of the Divine.

It also meant that Re, after having been reborn out of the darkness of the Underworld, was entering the Dayboat to let His light shine on a newly recreated world. It was the recreation of Zep Tepi, the 'First Time'.

The beginning of every year, every month, every day, every minute, every second, is a recreation of the First Time. This bears some pondering...

It has some consequences on our daily life, how we recreate it, how we live it...

The Horizon, the place between day and night, between Chaos and Order, between consciousness and unconsciousness, between the Created and the Uncreated, the place where dreams and fantasies breed and flicker. It is the place we all return to and which we all depart from.

It opens possibilites, it holds a promise. It is a sensitive spot where the fibres of the Universe is thin. Netjer shines through here, perhaps easier than anywhere else in Creation.